Mike's On Top | Michael Wallace

Mike loves being on top...of all the best news stories!

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Sep 18

Chick-Fil-A 'Canceled' for Mocking Cows' Intelligence

This is by-far the worst thing they have done.

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Aug 1

Sunoco Employee Reveals Vaping "Much Healthier Than Cigarettes"

Being healthy has never looked this cool!

Jun 26

Celebrity Tweets to Replace Legislative Branch in 2021

The American government officially announced that celebrity tweets will become the official authoritative entity for all legislature. New...

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Jun 14

Wife of Museum Custodian Starts New Podcast on being Wife of Museum Custodian

Hey do you wanna do my podcast?

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May 21

City Promotes Health, Forces Citizens to do Burpees as Payment for Parking Garages

Health freaks, rejoice!

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Feb 27

Masters of Fine Arts Graduate Lands Dream Job as Cashier at Trader Joe's

Greek yogurt? Aisle 6.

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Jan 28

Study Shows Redundant Vocabulary Correlates to Popularity and Sexiness, Study Suggests.

Stay tuned for developing updates and more developments.

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Dec 23, 2019

How NOT to Fight With Your Family this Christmas

Grab the milk, it is family time!

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Dec 20, 2019

5 Last-Minute Stocking Stuffers

Everyone will probably love these!

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Dec 13, 2019

Danny DeVito Seen Unscrewing the Caps off Laundry Detergents at Target

Stay tuned for more developments.

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Dec 6, 2019

Fraternity Member Refuses Sex with Unconscious Girl, Gets Suspended

Phi Sigma Zeta has recently expelled two of its members after they refused to have sex with an unconscious girl at their weekly rager.

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Nov 11, 2019

Bengals Fans Thrilled As Active Shooter Storms Field, Ends Game.

Fans couldn't bear watching yet another blown first half.

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