The holidays are here and so are your family. Let's all get along!
1. Avoid Artificial Insemination
You're going to have family over, and tip number one is to avoid artificially inseminating any of your family members. Look guys, I’d like to AI my G-Pa just as much as the next guy, but cmon, wait until the new year.
2. Do NOT Speak English
I can't stress this enough, be careful with how much English you speak. It hasbeen proven that speaking English is a recipe for fights to break out and tempers to rise. Not this year!
3. Human Lips
It's the time of year for giving thanks and compassion, so it wouldn't be a terrible idea to bring a small box of human lips for each family member to enjoy.
4. Pharmaceutical Eating Competitions
Cards Against Humanity and Scategories are great, but why not kick it up a notch and try a pharmaceutical eating competition! Who doesn't want to stuff their face full of yummy Vicodin and wash it down with Codeine syrup underneath the mistletoe?
Always have at least 3 gallons of milk in the fridge. It's December so this is pretty self explanatory.