Man with Loud, Jingly Keys Better Be Really Fucking Important


What?!? Sorry, can't fuckin' hear you over the ear-piercing sound of this guy's keys. He must be pretty important, why else would he have all those keys? I bet he is extremely trustworthy to be allowed to have access to every single door in this building or even this city from the looks of it.

It's bad enough that my wife took everything with no-thanks to this dogshit lawyer that was supposed to be "killer" according to Steve, but now I can't even think straight because of the loud cymbal-like cacophony banging on the inner sanctums of my ears. My wife won’t respond to any of my texts and I think she is going to win in court.


One elder and especially whiny citizen commented on the affair as well:


Dave Spearmint
"I'm just trying to do my job. I had to come out of retirement to help pay for Dialysis "
--Dave Spearmint, crybaby