SPRINGFIELD, ILLINOIS --
Alice Benning, wife of John Benning, was home watering her indoor plants one Winter Sunday when she decided that she needed more purpose in her life. Although she had been working in the local print shop since she was in high school and become a self-designated "Xerox professional," Alice knew that she was sitting on a goldmine of interesting facts and stories that nearly a dozen people would probably find interesting. Alice, being the wife of John Benning, a 58 year-old custodian at the Springfield museum of Springfield, has everything she needs to start a podcast: a voice, an internet connection, and uninteresting information about a topic that in which she is not well versed.
"It's 2020. If you do not have a podcast (or if you are not a regular guest on a podcast) you are not an active member of society. Give your pulse to someone without a pulse so they can start a podcast on what it was like to be dead or something.
-Dave Spearmint, Internet User
If you haven't fired up your laptop and talked too loud into your cheap microphone while rambling about the very unique and interesting things that happen to you, an HR associate for a company that sells oven mitts, don't bother voicing an opinion, paying taxes, voting, or celebrating a holiday because you are barely a living person.